The Feels: Tears In The Rain

Ever since the dawn of the internet there have been screen names and sign off signatures. My screen names have ranged from silly, to self-importantly silly, to straight up pompous, and there have been many. But my sign off was always the same: 
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain. 
If you don't immediately recognize the quote, it's from the movie Blade Runner. Specifically, Rutger Hauer's character, Roy Batty. If you've never seen Blade Runner, remedy that. Just remember to watch the director's cut because it's easily a zillion times better than the original.
Blade Runner is a cult classic, future noir film that defines everything I love about science fiction; flying cars, androids, gritty distopian landscapes, and dramatic fashion. By no means is it a tear jerker. In fact, the 'love scene',  between the two main characters (played by post-Star Wars Harrison Ford and pre-Cat Woman crazy Sean Young) has been widely criticized as being romanticized rape (spoiler alert, it totally is).
But this is The Feels, so obviously there's something about this film that evokes a strong emotional reaction out of me.
Yeah, it's Rutger Hauer's character.

I know. 

If you told me I was going to have a strong emotional response to a Rutger Hauer character I'd laugh at you. If you told me the character was a vicious killing machine without a conscience, I'd say you were insulting my humanity. But that's just it.
I'm that weirdo who always worried if one toy was getting more attention than another. Give something a face and my mind immediately recognized that it had feelings. Give it robotic mobility and the illusion of thought and I was 100% convinced that it was alive, felt pain, and totally went to heaven when it 'died.' Oh man, Toy Story would have messed me up hardcore if it had been around in my youth.
I kind of grew out of that. Kinda. I admit that I might have shed tears when my Tamagochi sprouted angel wings for the first time. Okay, who am I kidding? If I had one of those robot dogs that Sony was making a decade ago, I guarantee that it would get just as much love and attention as my real dogs. 
Do I get a say in this?
But, you know, things are just things. I know this, really I do!
And that is exactly what chokes me up over Blade Runner. Roy is a thing. He is aware that he is a thing and that his 'feelings' aren't real. But he has sentience and despite everything he's done to make him the bad guy, he has lived. He has experienced and seen things that provide real memories, memories that will cease to exist when he does, and he is aware of this, so he does something. No spoilers, but he does something to guarantee that he is remembered.
It's so human, it hurts.
Sure, I might have been young and going through my 'everything is so profound!' stage when I first saw this film. But it holds up. All of us want to be remembered. All of us have unique memories and yes, those memories will die with us. No one wants to dwell on that, so we do what we can to ensure that we'll be remembered is a good way. Even if we aren't always good at it.
But that funny looking stuffed duck that I had as a kid? Yep, I'll always remember that duck, with her little Donald Duck ripoff sailor suit and kind of crazy eyes. She was a good duck, even if she wasn't as cute as the other stuffed animals.


  1. I always got the ugliest Christmas tree for the same reason. I didn't want it to feel bad about being the ugliest tree. It just needed some love.

  2. hey, I always make sure every last kernel of corn is out of the frozen freezer bag before i throw it away. If he came this far, he has to go all the way. @doodlesmom

  3. I have to watch Blade Runner, but I always knew you were a softy.

    1. Only around the middle. I'm tough as nails, I swear!


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